Anxiety

The countdown is on… From today, we are looking at roughly eight weeks until departure. Waves of anxiety wash ashore at any given moment, and sleep doesn’t come easy with all the thoughts of things to do.

Not only are we moving across the country, but we are downsizing from 1800SF to 350SF! Nesting in our comfortable intracoastal home for 15 years, we are now taking stock of all the things we have surrounded ourselves with and trying to determine only the essentials to take with us. Easier said than done, especially when we’re doing our best to go piece-by-piece down to the junk drawer paperclips to appropriately dispose of and find everything a happy place to dwell. How do I part with the foam and glitter artwork that my students lovingly made and proudly gave to me all those years ago when I was helping them learn to read? Or, how about the Playbill from Phantom on Broadway that we saw on our first trip to NYC? All those birthday cards and stacks of photo albums, little trinkets and totems picked up along the way… UGH! We keep saying it’s only ‘stuff,’ but it is really an emotional exercise to detach the sentimental value to all that we have collected over the decades. Nothing else can ease the mind like organizing a little community yard sale on the side!!

Aside from relinquishing most of our material possessions and closing out the house here (thank goodness we are selling as-is), we also need to plan for our arrival at the property and make sure we are ready to take delivery of the yurt. Building an outhouse/storage shed, setting up the platform and deck, bringing the solar power system on-line, and thinking about how to make sure we have food and water has us straddled between two worlds in a precarious mental state. We need every single one of these things to work out in NM how we envision them here from FL, and it feels like we are planning for the colonization of Mars! Not to forget the tiny little detail of actually rolling our happy little caravan across seven states… Are we there yet?

Finally, someone had the wise idea to take an on-line for-credit class that wraps May 14th! This little undertaking was not to happen until the summer term after we landed, but why put off tomorrow what you can do today.

All of this off-grid prep coincides with just trying to get by every day with ‘real’ work and daily chores which all deliver their own dose of stress. This year has been particularly woeful for us since we have lost several very significant people in our lives, and that has caused us to reflect on our own mortality and what our time here on Earth is really meant to bring. The general conclusion is that life IS change- it is inevitable and it is as hard as you make it. We are doing all that we can to embrace all these major changes for what they are and awkwardly ride the emotional waves that come with them. While there are definitely low points, keeping busy to fulfill our vision (and savoring a good cold beer) helps to lend a positive distraction. Not the least important is the support of our friends and loved ones who give us encouraging words and the much needed boost to keep us moving forward.

Pressing on…

 

Ol’ Skraggly

 

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6 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. I will follow where ever you go. I have been going through years of saving every moment and photo of wonderful times,people and family. It’s been months of sorting, laughs and tears. I feel ya. All of your art, I don’t have enough wall space for mine. Can’t wait to see the yurt.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahhhhhh. I took a deep breath when I finished reading. So many poignant reminders….

    I’ll end my evening thinking of what I would pack if I had to downsize. What a great exerciser this little ditty inspires.

    Sending all manner of virtual support and encouragement and a standing ovation chok full of admiration.
    Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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